A Day

19 06 2015



I neglect this blog, so I’m going to try not to. Here’s a day in the life of a fibrobeing.

It started harmlessly enough. I awoke with my cat still glued to my face, which is how I fell asleep, & my sleep app informed me that I got 6 quality hours. A hot shower released the usual AM kinks, & I felt like I’d gained a spoon.

Fast forward to work, where a no call/no show client cost me an hour’s cash. This ended up being a blessing in disguise (God protects fools & gingers), because by 1PM my left leg was trying to cecede from the Union, my right arm seemed to be getting shot repeatedly by ethereal mafiosos, & my shoulders were all like “You bitch.”

After washing my hands, I had a spasm that caused me to punch the edge of a tiled wall, hard, with my knuckles. My left hand is now almost useless, which made driving home fun. It made grocery shopping an extra exciting adventure. I like to view these instances as my own Tri Wizard Challenge, because that’s more fun than being angry or crying, & it actually works.

Triumphs: the Trader Joe’s check out guy was super friendly. I also managed to completely avoid the comfort carbs I usually go for in this much pain, & loaded up on nuts, seeds, cheese (mmm, cheese) & fresh fruits.

I managed to park better than a well trained orangutan, & no one died. I typed this post with my one good hand. So I’m going to call this a good day. I am the world’s most pathetic Tri Wizard Champion.


The Bright Side of Pain

1 02 2012

The really fantastic thing about physical pain & disability is that you find out who your real friends are real fast & how to prioritize.

Will the world end if you don’t vacuum? No. Is the person who only seems to enjoy talking to you when you’re “on” someone you’d call when you’ve fallen & can’t get up? No.

You find out who is your friend & who is your therapy client. Your audience. You find out that certain people are more grown up than you gave them credit for, & some far less.

You realize you’ve been pushing someone away because you didn’t understand what they were offering. You resolve to accept it now. You learn that Doritos are not food. You learn to talk in plain English. You exasperate of games. And, as Kurt Schlichter might say, your tolerance for morons wears ever thinner.

You admit that even the smallest help is help.

You concentrate on the people who really matter.

You remember you have a body, & to accept that “mind over matter” is mostly a figure of speech.

You learn to say to no. You give yourself permission to ignore people who want too much of your energy.

You figure out what love actually is. It demands nothing but gives selflessly. There’s more than that, but that’s the first way to recognize it. And love sustains. It does not merely maintain.

Thank you, Lord, for teaching me to use fibromyalgia for good. I wouldn’t have sorted that out on my own.

Originally posted 12/12/2010 on my personal blog.