For the Ladies

22 01 2014

Sisters, let’s get real. Menstruation with fibromyalgia fully sucks. You are not crazy & you are not dying. It will go away, but for a couple of days, woe betide anyone who comes to you with requests for your time but no cake.

Let’s dissect some of The Horror so you don’t feel like there is something terribly wrong with you. Here’s are 10 things I wish someone had told me:

1. Cramps can best be described as “times eleventybillion”.

2. You will go into flare.

3. As fibro has a vascular component, migraines are likely. Prepare accordingly: have coffee/tea/RockStar on hand.

4. Symptoms other people associate with food poisoning are just your first day.

5. Everything will make you cry, including weird stuff like a friend not returning a text within 15 minutes & tea taking more than 2 minutes to heat up in the microwave.

6. You will want sugar & other carbs. These will actually make your stomach flu-like symptoms worse, & may even increase pain. You must eat protein. However, if a gluten free Joe Joe will prevent a trial for first degree murder, go ahead & eat that bad boy. After your protein.

7. You may actually feel like you’re dying as your body seems to be shutting down. You probably aren’t. If you have shortness of breath or rapid heart beat, go see somebody, but the pain & “robot with a low battery” sensation is most likely your body rerouting resources.

8. You will not be able to string together a coherent spoken sentence & will probably be sent home from work, if you were even able to get out of bed or operate a vehicle better than a sorority girl after someone’s called out “JAEGER SHOTS!”

9. Everyone is going to seem like a jerk. Today is not the day to react to social media posts, perceived real life slights, or awkward silences. It’s probably not what you think.

10. YOU WILL FEEL BETTER TOMORROW. In a couple more days, you will feel about as normal as a fibrogal can. Don’t give into despair; this misery is not forever.

You may have other symptoms & tips I’ve not listed. If so, feel free to comment so we can comfort as many women folk as possible.




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