For the Ladies

22 01 2014

Sisters, let’s get real. Menstruation with fibromyalgia fully sucks. You are not crazy & you are not dying. It will go away, but for a couple of days, woe betide anyone who comes to you with requests for your time but no cake.

Let’s dissect some of The Horror so you don’t feel like there is something terribly wrong with you. Here’s are 10 things I wish someone had told me:

1. Cramps can best be described as “times eleventybillion”.

2. You will go into flare.

3. As fibro has a vascular component, migraines are likely. Prepare accordingly: have coffee/tea/RockStar on hand.

4. Symptoms other people associate with food poisoning are just your first day.

5. Everything will make you cry, including weird stuff like a friend not returning a text within 15 minutes & tea taking more than 2 minutes to heat up in the microwave.

6. You will want sugar & other carbs. These will actually make your stomach flu-like symptoms worse, & may even increase pain. You must eat protein. However, if a gluten free Joe Joe will prevent a trial for first degree murder, go ahead & eat that bad boy. After your protein.

7. You may actually feel like you’re dying as your body seems to be shutting down. You probably aren’t. If you have shortness of breath or rapid heart beat, go see somebody, but the pain & “robot with a low battery” sensation is most likely your body rerouting resources.

8. You will not be able to string together a coherent spoken sentence & will probably be sent home from work, if you were even able to get out of bed or operate a vehicle better than a sorority girl after someone’s called out “JAEGER SHOTS!”

9. Everyone is going to seem like a jerk. Today is not the day to react to social media posts, perceived real life slights, or awkward silences. It’s probably not what you think.

10. YOU WILL FEEL BETTER TOMORROW. In a couple more days, you will feel about as normal as a fibrogal can. Don’t give into despair; this misery is not forever.

You may have other symptoms & tips I’ve not listed. If so, feel free to comment so we can comfort as many women folk as possible.


Flu or cold…who the hell knows?

7 01 2014

A cold is respiratory symptoms. A flu is respiratory symptoms with body aches & fever. When you have fibromyalgia, who the hell can tell the difference?

Your treatment protocol should be the same for any respiratory ailment plus flare because yes, you will go into flare. This means taking care of yourself, staying the hell away from people, imbibing gallons of fluids, OTC meds if you’re so inclined (they do nearly nothing for me), & heading to the doctor if it worsens rather than gets marginally better after 3 days, if there’s a fever, or if something feels wrong.

I don’t claim anything I do works for everyone, but I swear by ColdEeze & EmergenC at the first sign of symptoms. Even if they don’t stop it cold, they shorten it, & I personally prefer to suffer less. I also don’t feel like eating or have the energy to do anything, so drinking chicken broth heated in a mug in the microwave is a good alternative to actual cooking & keeps the electrolytes up when I’ve been saturating with tea.

Ok, I’m going back to sleep.